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Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:

Guests are requested not to smoke or do other disgusting behaviours in bed.

Hotel notice, Tokyo:

Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such a thing is please not to read notis[sic].

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:

Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

In a Tokyo bar:

Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.

In a Bangkok temple:

It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.

Hotel room notice, Chiang-Mai, Thailand:

Please do not bring solicitors into your room.

Hotel brochure, Italy:

This hotel is renowned for its peace and solitude.
In fact, crowds from all over the world flock here to enjoy its solitude.

Hotel lobby, Bucharest:

The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

In a Leipzig elevator:

Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.

Hotel elevator, Belgrade:

To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor.
If the cabin should enter more persons, each one
should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then
going alphabetically by national order.

Hotel elevator, Paris:

Please leave your values at the front desk.

Hotel, Athens:

Visitors are expected to complain at the office
between the hours of 9 and 11 AM daily.

Hotel, Yugoslavia:

The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

Hotel, Japan:

You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

Sign in Japanese public bath:

Foreign guests are requested not to pull cock in tub.

Sign in men's rest room in Japan:

To stop leak turn cock to the right.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:

You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

Hotel catering to skiers, Austria:

Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.

Taken from a menu, Poland:

Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger;
Roasted duck let loose;
Beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.

Supermarket, Hong Kong:

For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service.

Dry cleaner's, Bangkok:

Drop your trousers here for the best results.

 

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